Sometimes a traumatic event is long past, yet the body and emotions still react as if danger were right beside us. EMDR can help reduce the emotional charge of a traumatic memory so that the past no longer overshadows present life.
When an everyday journey brings back the past
Ben was just a few stops away from the end of his journey when a stranger came too close on a crowded train. At first glance, it was an ordinary everyday situation, but it triggered an unexpectedly powerful reaction.
Fear washed over Ben, and images of childhood trauma experienced roughly 30 years earlier surfaced before his eyes. It was not just the event itself that returned – he again felt the old smells, bodily sensations, and tension. When recounting the experience, Ben even began to use childlike words, as if speaking from that part of him which had once lived through the trauma.
His story was featured in the British newspaper 'The Guardian'. Until that day, Ben had lived a seemingly successful life: he had a family, a job, and had achieved a great deal. However, the incident on the train revealed that the painful experience had not disappeared – it had simply remained dormant for a long time.
Why can an old experience feel so vivid?
Ben's story illustrates how a traumatic memory can differ from an ordinary one. When recalling an unpleasant event, we usually understand that it belongs to the past. In the case of traumatic memory, the body and emotions can react as though everything were happening right now.
Such a reaction can be triggered by a sound, a smell, a place, a touch, certain words, or another person's behaviour. Sometimes the link is obvious. Yet a person might not understand why, in a specific situation, they are suddenly overcome by fear, shame, anger, or an urge to withdraw.
The memory may be accompanied by nightmares, intrusive images, heart palpitations, muscle tension, and avoidance of situations reminiscent of the painful experience. The past then becomes more than just a part of one's life story – it begins to affect one's present wellbeing, decisions, and relationships.
Simply knowing that 'it is all over' is sometimes not enough, as the body continues to respond to the old experience as a present threat. This raises an important question: is it possible to retain the memory while diminishing its power to overwhelm a person so intensely? This is precisely what EMDR was introduced for.
How did EMDR come about?
EMDR – Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing, or eye movement desensitisation and reprocessing. The method's origins are associated with American psychologist Francine Shapiro.
In the 1980s, while walking in a park, she noticed that moving her eyes from side to side reduced the tension caused by distressing thoughts. This chance observation led her to wonder whether a similar principle could help other people as well.
Shapiro began to study this and eventually developed a structured eight-phase method. In this way, a simple observation in a park evolved into a coherent process for reprocessing traumatic memories.
How is a traumatic memory reprocessed?
During the EMDR process, a person briefly focuses their attention on a specific memory, the thoughts associated with it, emotions, and bodily sensations. At the same time, the eyes track two fingers moving from side to side. Alternating sounds or taps may also be used.
The goal of EMDR is not to erase the memory or convince the person that the painful event was unimportant. The memory remains, but can become less vivid, less immediate, and less emotionally overwhelming.
This can be compared to holding a photograph right in front of one's eyes. It fills the entire field of vision and prevents you from seeing anything else. Once the memory is processed, the photograph does not disappear, but it can now be moved away, viewed from a safer distance, and placed into the album of your life.
At the same time, beliefs associated with the experience can also change. The thought ‘I am still in danger’ can be replaced by the realisation ‘this is over now’. Instead of ‘I am helpless’, the thought ‘now I have a choice’ can emerge.
Ben's journey: remembering does not mean reliving
Let us return to Ben. The EMDR process was not easy for him. At first, the memories became even more vivid, with smells and bodily sensations intensifying. At times, it felt as though things were getting worse rather than better.
Over time, however, the impact of the memory began to change. Ben described his experience as fundamentally life-changing. The difficult event did not disappear from his memory, but it gradually stopped being experienced as an ongoing threat.
This story shows that change does not always happen quickly or in a straight line. Sometimes, before the emotional charge of a memory lessens, one must more clearly experience what has long been avoided or suppressed.
From personal stories to international recommendations
Prince Harry has also spoken publicly about EMDR. He shared that returning to London used to trigger anxiety linked to the loss of his mother and the intense media attention he experienced during childhood. In EMDR, the memories triggering these reactions were addressed.
Such public stories have helped raise awareness of the method among the wider public. However, EMDR is valued not merely on the basis of personal accounts.
The World Health Organization and NICE – the UK's National Institute for Health and Care Excellence – include EMDR among the recommended treatments for post-traumatic stress disorder. NICE guidelines indicate that the process often encompasses 8–12 sessions, though the number depends on the person's experience and individual situation.
When the past remains in the past
EMDR is not a magic button that erases difficult life experiences. Nor is it the only possible path. The essence of the method is to change one's relationship with the memory that previously kept pulling the person back into the past.
The memory remains part of one's life story, but it may no longer evoke such intense fear, shame, or helplessness. The person knows what happened, but no longer has to relive it every time.
We cannot erase the past. But it can stop directing the present.